Mondays, am I right?

brianwhelton · 2018-04-30T14:48:59.000Z

Jackie I (Spiceworks):

Today is the most Monday-ist Monday I have experienced in a long time. I hope this is not community widespread. How about some pick-me-ups? Care to share a heartwarming story, cute animal picture, or a funny joke? I could sure use some!

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mr-burnz · 2018-04-30T14:54:15.000Z

dancrane · 2018-04-30T14:55:34.000Z

Have a sleepy kitty on a newly reclaimed chair.

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james485 · 2018-04-30T14:56:24.000Z

Deadpo0l:

Never fear I is here to give you some eyecandy in hopes of cheering you up! Feast upon all my sexiness

WARNING - Not for the faint of heart.
SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the cars. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience “spontaneous test-pilot knowledge.” If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a “countdown.” May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase “no can do.” This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, “I’m gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!” You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily “walking-around time.” Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy-join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a woo-octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience “lumpy back” syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of “quiet time” in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensatino of having a “phantom” third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: “Hi, are how you?” Unacceptable: “The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst.” Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them. FOR MEN: If you experience a prolonged, painful erection, stop using and seek immediate medical attention or permanent problems could occur.

Mind bleach! Where’s the mind bleach!?!

joelf · 2018-04-30T15:03:57.000Z

Pack a nice lunch.

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cweb · 2018-04-30T15:38:41.000Z

Jackie I (Spiceworks) you might want to spend some time refreshing this post: Mondays can be tough, but this week has Adopt a Shelter Pet & Pet Parents Day!

and to keep monday easy

Today is National Pet Day 2018! (pet pics for everyone!) Water Cooler

From what I heard in my inbox, today is National Pet Day . It’s been celebrated on Spiceworks before but I hadn’t seen mention of it yet for this year, so here we go. I know that every day is a National Something Day but any excuse to post pics of our pets is probably a good one? It’s also the middle of the week, so perfect time to see something warm and fuzzy to carry us through. Here’s some new pictures of our family: [30441142_10160096976825570_1044616705873018880_n.jpg]This is Gizmo with…

Happy National Pet Day! Water Cooler

[NationalPetDay.jpg] There have been threads about cats and threads about dogs, but today, we get to celebrate pets of all kinds! So feel free to post pictures and share stories about your animal companions! What is the the funniest thing your pet has done? Here is a picture I took of my cats a couple of weeks ago that still makes me laugh: [1909690_10156565131330004_4367891612481034177_n.jpg]

Need a Smile Today? Well, it's National Pet Day! Water Cooler

Today is National Pet Day ! I know I always enjoy seeing the pictures and stories that people share when National Pet Day roles around every year. I'm sure it brightens many other animal lover's days out there as well. So, without further ado, today I'm celebrating my rescue Siamese. He has quite the personality and provides me with endless laughs, as you can probably tell from the picture below! [mlem.jpg] So SpiceHeads, to celebrate National Pet Day, I want to hear your best stories, and…

Some additional threads new and old to bring a smile.

@jackie-i-sw

andresbustamante2 · 2018-04-30T15:43:58.000Z

Today has been one of the worst Mondays since i started working in this new place, like and hour and a half in my shift and i already want to run to the exit

geekuilibrium · 2018-04-30T15:44:13.000Z

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cweb · 2018-04-30T15:47:59.000Z

Tukkineitor13:

Today has been one of the worst Mondays since i started working in this new place, like and hour and a half in my shift and i already want to run to the exit

How most people think of Mondays?

ericabalsley · 2018-04-30T15:51:27.000Z

Here is the World Peace Hamster:

http://cuteoverload.com/2006/01/18/ladies_and_gent/

And if that’s not enough, here’s a pygmy jerboa giving himself a bath:

james485 · 2018-04-30T15:56:41.000Z

EricaInIT:

Here is the World Peace Hamster:

http://cuteoverload.com/2006/01/18/ladies_and_gent/

And if that’s not enough, here’s a pygmy jerboa giving himself a bath:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJnn-wMPU9w

Huh..jpg

I can honestly say that I have never seen one of those before

ericabalsley · 2018-04-30T16:07:06.000Z

Adorable, isn’t it? Fully grown, it’s not much more than 1.5 inches long.

chuckdruery · 2018-04-30T16:07:34.000Z

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jimender2 · 2018-04-30T16:12:11.000Z

3gbm3:

I found out that my car insurance company is not renewing us next month. When I asked my eldest daughter for her DL# so I could start quoting new insurance she told me that she wanted to start looking for her own anyway. She said she should be responsible for her own. Proud Dad. She is such a badass.

How bad of a driver are you?

Here you go Jackie.

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bigckeys503 · 2018-04-30T16:13:15.000Z

I was out of the office since Wednesday afternoon to attend my grandfather’s funeral, and thankfully, I didn’t return to a total mess
Here’s a picture of my cat on my laundry

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robertn361 · 2018-04-30T16:13:58.000Z

James485:

Deadpo0l:

Never fear I is here to give you some eyecandy in hopes of cheering you up! Feast upon all my sexiness

WARNING - Not for the faint of heart.
SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the cars. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience “spontaneous test-pilot knowledge.” If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a “countdown.” May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase “no can do.” This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, “I’m gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!” You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily “walking-around time.” Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy-join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a woo-octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience “lumpy back” syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of “quiet time” in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensatino of having a “phantom” third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: “Hi, are how you?” Unacceptable: “The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst.” Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them. FOR MEN: If you experience a prolonged, painful erection, stop using and seek immediate medical attention or permanent problems could occur.

Mind bleach! Where’s the mind bleach!?!

James485 I’ll included that in future side effect warnings.

@james485

thelibrarycat · 2018-04-30T16:27:02.000Z

This is my go-to for when I’m having a bad day: JAMES FACE - It’s so stupid, but it always cracks me up.

It also helps to watch people have worse days than mine at 11 Foot 8 , footage of trucks getting caught under the “can opener” bridge in Durham NC.

joelrauch · 2018-04-30T16:35:27.000Z

You can always watch Chad and JT fight for house parties in L.A.

I don’t know what it is but this video makes me laugh every time I watch it.

tomsattler · 2018-04-30T16:44:07.000Z

Remember in the game Life, or maybe it’s Monopoly, when you got the “Bank Error in your Favor” and got extra money?

That doesn’t happen in real life… Welcome to Monday

biscuitking · 2018-04-30T17:06:53.000Z

First I will give my tale of woe from the weekend. It all started Friday night while doing Windows updates. Everything was going well on the first half of the servers to do. After 45 minutes of the physical DC not responding to a ping I was all “OH SH!T” so I connected to the IP KVM to find that the server was stuck at the “Stopping Windows Installer Module” with no way to restart the server remotely (no iLO or iDRAC). “Crap, I have to drive to work at 9PM”. So I talk my wife into riding the 30+ minutes each way with me. I get in the server room, fire up the KVM, and find the server at a login screen. “SOB, WTF?”. Well, at least the server was back up and I get to go home without anything else major happening. Cue Saturday morning 5:30AM and I am installing the updates on the last 6-7 servers. Everything is going well until I see that the Exchange Update Rollup 20 has been running for 4+ hours with no apparent movement. I try clicking “Stop installation” and go out in the yard. About 15 minutes later I go back in and nothing has changed. For the next two hours I go out and work in the yard for 15-20 minutes then come in and check. After two hours of this I say screw it and reboot the server all the while keeping my fingers crossed that nothing happens to our Exchange server. A few minutes later it comes back up, I can connect to my mailbox, send emails internally and externally, but can’t receive external emails. Another “SOB, WTF?” moment. Then I remember that the Cisco IronPort will hold emails to Exchange if the two do not communicate for some period of time. I reboot the IronPort, wait a few minutes and external email starts rolling in. “WHEW”. Happy, happy , joy, joy.

Second, here is your funny picture: