12/4/2010:
Allo Rooters,
For starters I would like to wish you all an enjoyable holiday season. I for one am hoping that my Christmas
celebrations are a little more heart-warming than the miserable Thanksgiving I recently endured. Please don’t
get me wrong - all of the usual happenings were happening. The Mrs. cooked up a delicious meal, the family was
all together, in fact even my third cousin Jasper was in from Florida. However, I still seemed to have a huge
weight on my shoulders that I just couldn’t seem to knock off.
It wasn’t the sore nose that I was dealing with (ever since I ran snout first into Buck Hawke’s deadly double
axe handle,) It wasn’t the taste of Brodie’s big boot that I still had lingering on my tongue, nor was
it the clicking sound my jaw now makes whenever I tried to eat anything other than mashed potatoes. The weight
on my shoulders was being applied by one plaid-wearing, ax-swinging, stepstool-using lumberjack.
Grizzly Redwood, two months ago you and I went into battle and we both left that battle battered and bruised.
You happened to be the better man on that particular day and I respected that and shook your hand with honor. I
believed we left the squared circle that day with a new found mutual respect for one another. As it turned out,
the joke was on good ol’ Dasher.
Then, just a month later, after I had returned from a very successful trip to Osaka, Japan, and fresh off of a victory
over one Buck Hawke, you came out to the ring for what I assumed would be a low five and a “Good Job, Mate.”
Before you really got the chance to say much, we were interrupted by the “Big Rig” Brodie Lee. Considering both
of our recent pasts with Mr. Lee, I found it only natural for you and I to stand side-by-side in such a situation.
I must say the courage you showed when you jumped up and smacked that gigantic, smelly man directly in his face
made me jump for joy. But when I turned to celebrate with you for standing up to the Big Rig I was met, quite rudely
I might add, by a jaw-shattering boot.
As I lay on the canvas in pain staring up at the lights of the Easton Funplex, I waited for the hand of a
respected friend to help me up. I waited for an ally who knew exactly what it felt like to receive that particular
boot, and be left lying in that particular ring, to help me back to my feet. Instead, I woke up to the sight of
two cowards walking to the locker room with yellow stripes running down their backsides.
What was killing me was that I could not wrap my mind around why you would ever make such a choice...?
The last few times you have been in the ring with Brodie he has kicked your beard clear across the arena
(how that beard grows back so quickly is beyond me.) I know the saying goes
“it is always warmer under the wing of the dragon” but boy-o, that dragon has already eaten, digested
and squeezed you back out multiple times. For you to turn your back on a true friend like myself, only to
align yourself once again with the man who has proven he has little to no respect for you...is quite...foolish.
Luckily for me I soon realized that it really doesn’t matter what on God’s green Earth you were thinking. All
that matters now is that you did what you did. The deed has already been done, the crime has already been
committed, and now it is time for you and your big buddy to pay the piper. With my true friend, Sugar Dunkerton,
at my side we will make sure that this debt is paid in full. Sugar and I are a tight-knit ball club. If you throw
a high hard one in on one of The Throwbacks, you had better believe the retaliation is coming from the whole
squad.
Tip off is at four o’clock sharp! Don’t be late fellas,
DH
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