5/17/2011:
What a crazy couple of weeks it's been. In case you haven't heard, The Colony won the biggest tournament in professional
wrestling - King Of Trios 2011! However, I'm not writing this blog to brag about the outcome of the
tournament. I'm here to address a couple of thorns I've had in my side.
I'm talking about the BDK's slimy little stepchild, Jakob Hammermeier. I'm talking about the big, ugly 375-pound Viking with the
nappy beard, Tursas. It seems like this two-man freakshow has made it their mission to see how many underhanded
acts of rule-breaking tomfoolery they can get away with on every card. I mean, Jakob's finishing maneuver is having
his pathetic, lifeless body dragged over some poor sap that just got blindsided by an interfering Tursas.
That brings me back to CHIKARA's "Creatures from the Tar Swamp" event in Brooklyn earlier this year.
In the most embarassing moment of my career, with help from about seventeen of his friends and the worst referee
in the sport, Jakob managed to get a pinfall win over me. Then, only a month later at the Fan Conclave, I stepped up to the challenge of
bodyslamming the 400-pounder that crushed me in Brooklyn. I was about two seconds away from scooping the beast
off of his feet when Jakob decided to get involved, and clipped my knee out from behind. Of course,
later that night I would get a bit of revenge by finally picking the 425-pound viking up over my head and slamming
him to the mat, and then making his little buddy tap out with the Torture Rack.
Jakob, Tursas, you can play the numbers game with the BDK, hide in multiple-man matches, but make no mistake about it -
Green Ant has your number! I'm calling you out, Hammermeier! Let's you and I tie up one more time - mano a mano! And
as for you Tursas, once I'm done putting Jakob in his place, I am coming for you next! I know I've got what it
takes to beat you, and I won't stop until the world knows it too!
GA
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