6/22/2011:
Just a few weeks ago I was cheated by those dastardly scoundrels from the BDK once again. More specifically,
this time I was cheated by the loud-mouthed, hippie-haired Jakob Hammermeier. I was feeling good in Union City that
night, I was tossing Jakob all around the ACE Arena. There were baseball slides, arm drags, underhand chops,
knife edge chops, and even a chop to the old derriere just to say “Good Game!” Then, a moment I was waiting
for, for some time now, appeared in front of my very eyes. I had him in the perfect position to perform, for
the first time ever, the Super Mega Suicide Squeeze of Doom. Just as I was about to take flight and send him
crashing down to the mat head-first, one of his cronies, I am still not even sure which one, picked my ankle
causing me to crash to the mat with Jakob landing on the back of my head. Followed, unnecessarily, by what may
have been the first successful wrestling maneuver Jakob has ever performed.
Some people may become angered over this, some people may even become furious. Not me, not good ol’ Dasher
Hatfield. No way am I going to get my stirrups in a knot over this phoney. I knew eventually the day would come
when I would get my hands on you once again. Unfortunately for you, that qay is coming quite soon.
Just a few short days from now, in Taylor, Michigan, we will once again step into a CHIKARA ring. Things are a wee bit
different this go around - this time I have got my relief man, Sugar D, in the game.
To sweeten the pot, my good pal Wink threw the BDK’s version of Cecil Fielder into the mix. Tim Donst, if you
think that I forgot how you robbed me of the Young Lions Cup over a year ago, you are sadly mistaken boy-o. We
battled back and forth for a lengthy period of time. When you realized you could not possibly destroy my will in
Easton that night you had to stoop to underhanded tactics to get the three count. I can understand why Jakob
has to stoop to such levels. He can’t wrestle, if he wants to escape the squared circle in one piece, he has to cheat.
Timmy, you on the other hand, claim to be a mat wrestling machine, you claim to be the greatest Young Lions
Cup champion of all time! If are positive you are the greatest, then why the need for all the foul play? Now
that I think about it, you are a combination of two of the greatest baseball players of all time. If you took
the moral values of a Mark McGwire and combined them with the figure of a Babe Ruth it would create a Timmy Donst.
They say the difference between a smart man and a not-so-smart man is that a smart man learns from his
mistakes. My mistake is underestimating how low you lads will go to gain a victory. This Saturday, neither
Sugar nor I shall make that mistake again. We will be expecting the dirtiest, most underhanded methods from
the both of you. And in case you missed Sugar's blog from Monday: you can expect a stiff punch to the kisser and a
swift kick in the rear from The Throwbacks! From Ty Cobb to Mickey Tettleton, the state of Michigan has never seen
anyone hit a screwball as hard as I am going to hit you two. Batter Up!!!
Hey Wink: replay rule, think about it!
DH
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