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Director of Fun, Wink Vavasseur, here to address a few pieces of CHIKARA business. Please bear with me as I take care of my duties as
Supervisor to Human Resources. As much of this doesn’t apply to you (and, thereby, probably won’t interest you,) please skip ahead to my
last paragraph...
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Gavin, you have insulted me repeatedly. You have questioned my abilities and my capabilities. Despite the fact that you are most
clearly an underling and an employee, you have made it your goal to “subtly” disrespect me, Wink Vavasseur, your superior. Now you
implore me to help you get your revenge on Mr. Donst by assigning a proxy to put himself in harm’s way? For you?! I have a better idea,
Loudmouther. Think of it as a lesson, as a character-building exercise. In front of the already nearly-pre-sold-out crowd in Philadelphia,
and across the world wide web on our i-Pay-Per-View, you will get the opportunity to walk the walk, since you have had no problem talking the talk.
I am officially mandating the following bout for “Aniversario: Never Compromise” on June 2nd: Tim Donst vs. Gavin Loudspeaker.
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Sugar, it has been brought to my attention that you have recently declared yourself a “free agent.” Well, golly, I should really
get my eyes checked because I didn’t realize we had ourselves a regular Curt Flood over here! Dunk, you must have me confused
with Bowie Kuhn (look it up,) because under the Vavasseur administration, that’s just not the way things work. So, Mr. Dunkerton,
allow me to take this opportunity to wish you nothing but the best in your "free agency." Be careful what you ask for.
Alright, CHIKARA fans, this is the part to which you should have skipped ahead...I’d like to hear your opinion! First, though, a
little backstory: as many of you doubtlessly know, I recently capitalized on the overwhelming success of CHIKARA’s most popular
(in terms of merchandise sales) team The Colony by creating the supergroup The Colony: Xtreme Force [TM]! This team, unsurprisingly,
was met with resounding approval by you, the fans! So, can lightning strike twice? Well, I’m confident it can!
I’ve decided to turn my creative energies toward our #2 top merchandise sales leaders, Los Ice Creams! I’ve gone back to my creative brain
trust (that’s how I sometimes refer to myself, all alone in my office) to grab another great moniker out of the brain air, and what I’ve
come up with is this original gem... Los Ice Creams: Xtreme Frost [TM]! So, CHIKARA fans, what do you think of this brand new name? I hate
to pre-emptively toot my own horn, but I’m pretty proud to have come up with this one all by my lonesome! Thanks in advance.
While I finalize the trademarks on that, we're going to be doing some focus groups and such to see how the name tests. We can sure use your help!
5/16/2013:
CHIKARA fans,
