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11/28/2011:
I have been asked to provide a few words regarding my upcoming match with Gami on December 4th in Manhattan.
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It is a little-known fact that, in addition to being female wrestling pioneers, tag team wrestling
luminaries and above-average dancers, GAMI and I share a very special date in our lives.
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According to some random and questionable website, Gami made her professional wrestling debut on
November 1, 1990; that was a life-changing day in my life, too.
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I had just turned 3-years-old the previous week. I had asked all year for a donkey, but when I
woke up on my birthday that year, there was no donkey - just a stupid pony. I tried everyday to get
rid of that pony, but everyday, it came back.
It was bitterly cold that November 1st morning, and I set off once again to try to get rid of my pony.
Suddenly, my prayers were answered: a huuuge limousine pulled up next to me, and Jeff Jarrett hopped out.
I thought he going to kidnap me, but it turned out he just wanted my pony. He threw some flashy lights on
to the pony and rode off in to the sunset. That day, I hit the jackpot: I got a million dollars, I got rid
of that stupid pony, I didn't get kidnapped and I decided that I was going to be a professional wrestler.
I know that was a touching story for many reasons, but I'd like to speak for a moment about the most
profound point: Gami is really old. I know, I know..."respect," "veterans," "titles", "she hits people
with that big plastic thingamajig," but let's be honest: I don't care.
This is 2011, and it's about time some of that aforementioned "respect" was thrown my way.
December 4, 2011, will wind up being another very special day for Gami, because it will be the
day she's given the privilege of becoming another stepping stone in the career of Portia Perez.
I don't care who is on the posters; JoshiMania will be about me. I'll tune up on Toyota and then
make glue out of Gami.