4/1/2011:
Guten Tag!
Stop the presses, stop the presses!
Jakob Hammermeier here, und I have something to point out! I am not too sure how, or why it has happened.
But somewhere in betwixt my morning coffee, and my mid-morning "Tim Donst's Personal Pump-up Pep Talks" that I have
received every single day since he announced
he had chosen myself und Delirious to accompany him on the BDK trio this year at KOT, that I realized something.
That Green Ant is in fact, cheating. The very same Green Ant that you CHIKARMY fans love und cheer for is a dirty
player. Exhibit A) In February, your "resilient rookie" managed to knock out two, (count em') TWO members
of the Osirian Portal. You can see for yourself on DVD! Now one might think that this could be an isolated
incident, that Cheater McCheaty Ant Pants is actually a very talented wrestler that can hit hard, und can
"tie you up in knots." That on that particular night he got the better of those two other men, but this leads me to...
Exhibit B) When you watch my match with Green Ant, you can clearly see him knocking me out! (This is when
Tim Donst turns off the DVD of "Creatures From The Tar Swamp" und assures me that my wrestling prowess
was so keen that even though the car was on and nobody was behind the wheel, I managed to keep the car
in between the lines und win the match!) Something is up with that arm, I know it!
Now obviously this type of cheating cannot be permitted to continue! In this day and age, I thought you Americans had a
handle on the whole "performance enhancement" issue. Especially with as prestigious of a tournament as the
King of Trios coming up, we have to uphold a level playing field in honor of past greats such as "Ares",
such as "Claudio Castagnoli," such as "Tursas" who all played on an even keel.
Mr. Vavasseur, I must call your attention to this and demand action! Green Ant is competing with some kind of
unnatural advantage to the over the other participants in King of Trios 2011, and I am calling for him to barred
from competing.
Im namen der Bruderschaft,
JH
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