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2/13/2012:
Injuries are not fun at all. Trust me on that one. Do you know what it's like to not be able to feel your legs? I do.
Do you know what it's like to ride in the back of an ambulance in the worst physical pain possible? I do.
Do you know what it's like to be wheeled around an airport because you just can't walk without help? Whelp...I do.
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At this point...everyone knows I'm hurt. It's no secret. Crap, every major wrestling site under the sun has covered every inch of it.
You know the story...but here's something you don't know. Here's something NO news site has reported. Here's something not
on Twitter, or Facebook, or whatever Social Networking outlet you prefer.
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This is an actual conversation with a specialist.
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JG: So give it to me straight Doc.. what's the problem.
DR: Well Johnny...it's bad.
JG: Is it spinal? (Mike Tyson Reference. No? Whatever.)
DR: No. Muscular. Almost every single muscle in your lower back is completely shredded.
JG: But how? Why?
DR: Well...did you take a weird fall?
JG: I don't think so.
DR: Did you rip them dead-lifting 855 pounds, like you normally do on your light days?
JG: Nah...John Cena taught me perfect form.
DR: Hmmm...interesting. Well, have you carried any notable professional wrestling federations on your back for the past year?
JG: Come to think of it...YES I HAVE!
That's right, CHIKARA! It's your fault that I'm hurt! Where's my "Thank You?" For the past year I've carried the weight of
your success on my back. Look it up. How many BIG matches have I had? Countless main events, countless show-stealing matches,
countless high pressure situations. How many MOTN's, MOTY's, MOTYC's have I had? Quick answer...probably like 200. When it
comes down to it, Johnny Gargano puts butts in seats, Johnny Gargano sells DVD's...Smart Mark Video's sales have plummeted in
the mere month I've been gone.
PRO-WRESTLING NEEDS JOHNNY GARGANO and CHIKARA MOST DEFINITELY NEEDS JOHNNY GARGANO.
I have the star power that CHIKARA lacks. Sexy Chucky T and I are the current and reigning Campeones de Parejas for a reason.
You know that "it factor" you hear Wink always talking about? We've got it. We're stars. We're a couple of really attractive dudes,
and quite frankly inbetween those ropes...F.I.S.T. is just that good.
This back injury would sideline any normal man for months, maybe years...but I am no normal man. I'm the Bee's Knees,
The Cat's Pajamas and The Whole Shebang. Sad but true, Johnny Gargano at a mere 36% is better than ANYONE in CHIKARA at 100%.
Especially anyone named UltraMantis Black and/or Hallowicked.
I'm well aware you have a title shot on February 25th in Reading boys. Don't worry...I know ALL ABOUT IT. I think after
February 25th, you guys and I are going to have a lot in common. You're going to know EXACTLY what that pain I talked about
earlier feels like. Ambulance rides aren't cheap. Especially for two people.
I know you're scared and you miss me, CHIKARA fans...but don't panic...the organization you love will be alright. You'll be
seeing me very soon.
2/13/2012:
Injuries are not fun at all. Trust me on that one. Do you know what it's like to not be able to feel your legs? I do.
Do you know what it's like to ride in the back of an ambulance in the worst physical pain possible? I do.
Do you know what it's like to be wheeled around an airport because you just can't walk without help? Whelp...I do.
