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Back in the month of May, Amasisss was the unfortunate recipient of a career-threatening injury. His status on the CHIKARA roster is still unclear. Even I have to wait until “High Noon” on November 13th to find out what his future entailsss. I’m eager to see my friend return to the ring. I am also a bit anxious about what will spring from his lips after 6 months on the sidelines. At the time of his accident, the Pharaoh of Funk was scheduled to do battle in the 12 Large: Summit round robin. Director of Fun Wink Vavasseur quickly announced a replacement was needed. He allowed the CHIKARA fans to vote on who would take the place of Amasisss. They were given the best possible options - Hieracon or myself.

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Vavasseur, it is no sssecret you dislike me. You’ve disrespected me on multiple occassionsss. You sssspeak of me as if I’ve accomplished nothing. As if CHIKARA as a whole thinks of me as a joke. I know what the results were. Not gaining a single vote from my fellow wrestlers was a hard pill to swallow. It makes me wonder why my own partners did not vote for me. Although a bit disheartening, I cannot let that deter me from the true topic at hand. Why? Because I had the support of the CHIKARMY. That’s something you lack, Wink. And while you might have wanted to force Hieracon into the limelight, the CHIKARMY chose ME.

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I had been given the greatest opportunity, a shot a becoming the first-ever Grand Champion of CHIKARA. To secure my place in history. Admittedly, my win-loss record in singles competition isn’t the best. So between my scheduled CHIKARA bouts, I looked elsewhere to continue honing my skills. From Canada to Japan, I ssslithered from arena to arena battling anyone that dared. On July 8th, my travels landed me opposite Sssugar Dunkerton in the sqaurced circle. It was on that night, Dunkerton took everything from me that Wink could not.

I know why you broke my jaw, Sugar. I was one of the 12 Large, while you were warming the bench. No one took you seriously. You were losing left and right to everyone in CHIKARA. Even I defeated you just a few weeks prior to our match in New Jersey when we met in Cleveland. You needed a spark to turn your dwindling career around. And so you did. You, along with Dasher Hatfield, have gained 3 pointsss and will cash them in for a title shot on October 30th in Williamsport. You took away what I was attempting to wrap myself around. A golden opportunity. A chance to show my peers, who did not think I could hang with the 12 Large, that they were wrong about me.

You broke my jaw, Sssssugar. Put me on the shelf for a month with my mouth wired shut. Caused me to forfeit a tournament match and the points that went with it. And I still haven't fully recovered - I've lost every singles match I've had since you broke my jaw back in July. Cost me matches and bookings around the world. You play the part of the "nice guy" surprisingly well when the cameras are rolling. But that's not how I see you.

You took away my chance to win Block A and headline at "High Noon." You took away my chance to cement my legacy and become the very first Grand Champion. You took away my golden opportunity. Well I'm heading to Reading, PA to return the favor. I don't have my partners behind me, I don't have the Director of Fun pushing for me. But with the CHIKARMY behind me, I'm coming with revenge on my mind. An eye for an eye, Ssssugar. You broke my jaw. Now I break your arm.

Oh Yesssssssss!
OPHIDIAN