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Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile

3,699,415 views 3 years ago

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Sex offender Michael Cote carefully engineered his rise to teen pop stardom to gain access to thousands of underage girls.

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Recent uploads Play

1:55
Nation's Lunatics Lament Rising Cost Of Car Meat
- 11 hours ago
- 8,949 views
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Saying that the rising price of the commodity has begun to "burn their gumlines," millions of American lunatics admitted this week that they...
1:17
Laid-Off Man Finally Achieves Perfect Work-Life Balance
- 1 day ago
- 22,218 views
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Just two weeks after being laid off from the tech firm where he worked as a coder, 46-year-old Sam Morrison told sources Monday that he had ...
1:01
BREAKING: Dogs Running
- 2 days ago
- 30,603 views
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Across the country, all dogs are now running as fast as they can.

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2:49
Horrific Wall Street Allegations Reveal Junior Bankers Forced To Survive On $6,800 Per Week
- 6 days ago
- 41,651 views
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Japan grants suffrage to female robots, Obama announces he isn't ruling out taking U.S. military action on Congress, and a hypochondriac map...
1:37
Woman Confusingly Tells Area Man She's Not Interested In Him
- 6 days ago
- 39,566 views
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Evidently undertaking the next maneuver in her endless series of bewildering mind games, infinitely perplexing woman Haley Mueller cryptical...
1:29
BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash
- 1 week ago
- 170,342 views
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The frost-powered train toppled over, killing hundreds of partiers on its way to deliver ice-cold refreshment to a boring, overheated barbeq...

Popular uploads Play

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2:53
Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile
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Breaking News Play

The Onion News Network is an award-winning 24-hour American cable news network known for its unbiased coverage of national and international news.

1:29
BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash
- by The Onion
- 170,342 views
2:11
Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation
- by The Onion
- 23,021 views
2:15
NFL Concludes Ex-Players Taking Their Own Lives Because 'They Miss Football So Much'
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2:30
Bloomberg Defends NYPD's Controversial Stop And Kiss Program
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1:22
5-Hour Energy CEO Says Thirteen Deaths Just Collateral Damage In War On 'That 2:30 Feeling'
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2:36
Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink
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4:17
Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'
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2:24
Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing
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Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'
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2:27
More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas
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Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People In Face
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Onion Film Standard Play

The Onion's head film critic Peter K. Ronsenthal examines movies both new and old.

3:11
The Onion Looks Back At 'E.T.'
- by The Onion
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3:07
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2:57
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2:43
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2:38
The Onion Looks Back At 'The Wizard Of Oz'
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Sex House Play

Six sexy Americans, alone in a house with nothing to do but get nasty. This is Sex House.

ONION DIGITAL STUDIOS
Creative Director: Geoff Haggerty
Head Writer: Sam West
Writers: Sam Kemmis, Matt Klinman, Michael Pielocik, Chris Sartinsky
Writers' Assistant: Matt Powers