dstahlman
(DavidStahlman)
1
Day started out well…and ends like a bellyflop off the high dive. I need to get a sign for my door that says closed.
Best part of today:
User: I need a report with blaa blaa blaa on it.
Me: Ok let me see if I can work my SQL magic and get it for you.
-5min later-
User: Did you finish it, I need it for tomorrow morning’s meeting.
Me: Really? The meeting that has been scheduled for a month and you only now ask for it.
User: What’s the big deal you just get the data out and put it in Excel. By the way what’s vlookup?
Me: What’s the big deal you just pull your head…</in mind>
22 Spice ups
You tell that person to suck a big fat… egg and let you work!
ssmart
(SamSmart84)
3
Come on, seriously… SQL is EAAASSYY PEAASSY. So easy, you should just let the user jump into the database and get his own data…
… right? 
2 Spice ups
ross
(Ross42.)
4
If you’re going to quote a movie don’t turn a good quote into a run-on sentence i mean that’s just ridiculous who does that anymore this is the year 2014 you think people would know how to use proper punctuation you know what i mean?
3 Spice ups
Bud-G
(Bud G.)
5
Ah, this situation sounds familiar!
Situation: Developers come to us and say “We need a server so we can teach people about our critical project that we’ve been working on for the last year!!!”
IT Response - “Sure, what kind of specs we looking for and what kind of timeline?”
Developers - “Um, we don’t know the specs, but we need it in place because training begins in December.”
IT Response - “Really and how long have you known about this training server that would be needed?”
Developers - “Duh, since last year. Oh. We never told you. Yeah. Well, make it happen.”
2 Spice ups
dstahlman
(DavidStahlman)
6
Easy there @Ross42. I just grabbed a quick image from Google. Yes shame on me for not finding a better one, but don’t add to the day.
gomachg
(Gregmfg)
7
My response:
Oops sorry user looks like all your data is gone. Also you have been upgraded to Windows 8.1 and I am unable to do any training for the next 2 weeks.
1 Spice up
dstahlman
(DavidStahlman)
8
Bud G. dealt with that a bit earlier…“Our job is not to know what we want, that is what you are for.” I didn’t realize I had ESP, I should be getting paid more.
1 Spice up
That’s the unfortunate side effect of being awesome at your job.
2 Spice ups
Um…this is my life every week…
Typically its some giant report that needs to pull a years worth of data and half dozen or so queries…oh and we need this to report to the state or we lose all funding for the program for the next year…tell me again why we waited until the last minute to realize we needed to report this information? Then again it’s the state asking for it so I assume they didn’t know what they were looking for until the last minute.
I didn’t realize I was suppose to be a wizard, I think they should be paying me more for miracles to happen.
1 Spice up
dstahlman
(DavidStahlman)
11
Amy, I am putting this on my door…
4 Spice ups
I need that on my door also. For some reason asking “You want it done fast or you want it done right?” simply gets blank looks…
1 Spice up
techguy75
(TechGuy75)
13
too many words in a question that cant be answered with a simple yes or no
+1 to lenn, too many counts of this needs done now, do eeet.
brokinger
(Brok Inger)
16
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
3 Spice ups
It’s the consumer side of our field that is to blame. People are sold tech equipment in its many forms and they are told that it’s ‘lightning fast’ or ‘plug and play’ or ‘so simple, a child can set it up’. On that side of things, all they see is the ease with which everything works and works together. As a result, most people not working directly in our chosen field don’t realize HOW all of those get done. They don’t understand the work behind the scenes to make the equipment do what it does. They don’t realize how a network is designed, what a server does, why firewalls block this but not that. They know that computers are supposed to make life easier because they are fast and can keep things organized. So, naturally, anything that they need done by a computer can be done right away.
1 Spice up
Same as it ever was… same as it ever was… same as it ever was…
mkundin
(Agamigo)
19
What you tolerate will continue. Perhaps telling them no or at least let them stress out until right before the meeting.
