Just in case you haven’t noticed all the party steamers and “Happy Birthday” banners we’ve got up all over the place, it’s SpiceRex’s birthday today! (Though I wouldn’t blame you for thinking it was just another of @Sean-Spiceworks 's birthdays.)
The big guy is turning 15 this year. Fifteen marks a big year for folks in Texas, as it marks the year that you can get your driver’s permit!
Being our resident enthusiast of a variety of trades and arts, I’ve been tasked with figuring out what modifications we need to make to the company car to help our boy learn to drive. I’ve come up with most of what I think he needs, but a lot of it comes from racing, so I’d like some second opinions.
The Easy Bits
First off, the easiest bit. For once, I’m thankful that we’re in America, land of the automatics, so that we only have to deal with two pedals, because I’m not sure I could fit 3 plates big enough for his feet in the space we’ve got for them.
He’s also got short arms, so we need to accommodate by extending the steering column, and putting a much smaller wheel on it. Since we’re going non-stock, we may as well put it on a quick-disconnect, so we have options if he doesn’t like it for whatever reason, or for when some poor human has to try to drive this thing.
We also need some extra headroom. I figure the easiest way to do that is to just cut the top off! He can roll around in a convertible! That said, I’m not sure he’ll actually be able to put the top up once he’s in the driver’s seat, but that’s a problem to solve later.
Rollcage
We can’t have this thing be unsafe for them, though! Obviously, our 3rd-party steering wheel isn’t going to have an airbag in it, and even if it did, I’m sure it would be too small for him anyway. I guess we’ll need to take a queue from racing and put in a 5-point harness.
A properly safe 5-point setup requires a structural frame mounted at the correct height behind the driver, though, and I’m sure cutting the roof off took out some of the vehicle’s structural rigidity anyway, so let’s put a full cage in it. That gives us some rollover protection with the extra weight of a dino, while also giving us a safe place to mount our shoulder points for our harness.
In case you weren’t aware, though, you should never drive a car with a roll cage unless you’re wearing a helmet… That’s going to be our real problem, I’m not sure he has a helmet that still fits him, and I’m running out of budget. I guess he’ll need to get a job, too!
The Frame
Next up, we’re modifying the frame. While I’m sure we could have taken some time to find a big ol’ Texas truck that could handle 5+ tons of growing dino, I’m not sure he’d fit in the driver’s seat of even the biggest of Texas cabs, and everyone knows that everything’s bigger in Texas, right?
Since we’re going to be cutting and welding for the roof and cage anyway, we may as well extend and beef the frame up a bit while we’ve got the MIG out.
Suspension and Brakes
Between everything we’ve done so far, and the added weight of our growing dino, we’re looking at a lot more weight than your average vehicle is expecting to deal with. This means we need to completely re-work the suspension.
Thankfully, the off-roading community have done most of our hard work on the suspension bits, but all that extra inertia means we need some bigger brakes, too! Unfortunately for us, the solution for this one comes from the exotic car market.
Large hybrid-ceramic brakes are readily available, but a quite a price tag. With all the money we’re spending on brakes, we could have bought a brand new car! But you can’t put a price on safety, can you?
What am I Missing?
I’m leaving out some of the details here, like the lever system for extending the hood latch to something he can reach, the automatic headlight fluid system, and the hybrid-electric start system to give it that extra torque it needs to get moving with all that weight, but what else have I missed?
What changes would you make to make a dino-accessible car?
