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Humor, Satire, and Cartoons | The New Yorker
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Humor & Cartoons

Shouts & Murmurs

Day-Care-Parent Small Talk, Translated

Man, this parking lot sure is a nightmare, isn’t it?: I hit your car.
Shouts & Murmurs

Redditors: Immigrants Keep Kidnapping My Wife!!

​What to do about the human-trafficking illegal who absconds with my wife once a week and then drops her at home at dawn? Help!
Shouts & Murmurs

Dear Pepper: All the World’s a Life Stage

Banish the emptiness of not feeling useful, productive, directed.
Shouts & Murmurs

Why Do You Want to Be a Knight?

Keep in mind that we don’t get to pick which quests we go on, and most of them are pretty Jesus-y.
Shouts & Murmurs

Neighborhood Update: We’ve Finally Taken Down Our Christmas Lights

We have been so touched by the flood of D.M.s, the comments posted on Nextdoor, and the notes tied to rocks thrown through our window with heartfelt concerns like “ARE YOU KEEPING THEM UP FOREVER??!!!”
Peruse a gallery ofcartoons from the issue »

Daily Cartoons

1/16

“Whaddya call a hundred lawyers suing the government? A good start.”
Cartoon by Harry Bliss

Day of the Dad

Shouts & Murmurs

Father’s Day Gift Guide

We’ve profiled several types of fathers—Business Dad, Tech Dad, Outdoorsy Dad—and paired them with fail-proof gifts.
Shouts & Murmurs

Subject Lines of E-mails My Dad Has Sent Me with No Message in the Body

“Is there a way to turn off a TV without the remote love dad”
Shouts & Murmurs

Bluey’s Dad Thinks He’s So Great

If my parents had had the foresight to name me Bandit, I would be President by now, or at least have some more friends.
Shouts & Murmurs

If You Ever Hurt My Daughter, I Swear to God I’ll Let Her Navigate Her Own Emotional Growth

Every time you two lovebirds go out for frozen yogurt and a movie, I want you to remember THIS: I will be sitting on the front porch with my “REVOLVER” CD playing, because I really LOVE that WONDERFUL ALBUM.

Comics

Blitt’s Kvetchbook

Genius on the Half Shell

Portrait of a President.
Shouts & Murmurs

Everything Is LinkedIn Now

I’m thrilled to announce that I’m hot and have a mysterious and unknowable source of income!
Blitt’s Kvetchbook

Oval Office Ambush

How to lose friends and alienate people.
Blitt’s Kvetchbook

Vladimir Putin’s Dangerous Game

We’ve seen this movie before.

More Humor

Shouts & Murmurs

Everything My iPhoto Memories Has Chosen to Resurface

A three-minute slide show of my cat, titled “Your closest friends.”
Shouts & Murmurs

Pete Hegseth’s Day

One venti vanilla latte with two per cent and extra foam, please. I’m the one overseeing the F/A-18 Hornets conducting sorties over the Aegean Sea in T minus thirty minutes.
Shouts & Murmurs

A Few Quick Thoughts from Bridezilla!

How do I put this . . . I want to make sure that you all look worse than me, physically.
Shouts & Murmurs

The Definitive Guide to Types of Oligarchies

Broligarchy: When they’re not busy fist-pumping, their gravitational pull sucks in government resources and spits out human-rights violations.
Shouts & Murmurs

Reasons I Haven’t Left New York Yet

I’ve gotten too used to crying in public. I could never live somewhere where there is literally any chance that someone might come up to me and ask me what’s wrong.
Shouts & Murmurs

Production Meeting

Not so different from a Trump Cabinet meeting. Jeff Garlin: “When we’re in a scene together, I’m just watching you in awe.” Susie Essman: “How lucky we are to be in the presence of such a genius.”
Shouts & Murmurs

What the Pope Was Like as a Kid

Bobby was a good guy. But sometimes he’d do weird shit like put his hand on my head, unprompted, which was annoying.
Shouts & Murmurs

Pitch to Cronenberg: Consider the Body Horror of Zara Fit Models

At five inches tall—and six inches tall when she’s propped up and wearing a hat—Arlene is a Zara XL. And sure, if you go strictly by her taxonomy, she is a sea slug.
Shouts & Murmurs

All My Hottest Gandr Dates

A lovelorn librarian experiences five not-so-hot dates in New York City.
Shouts & Murmurs

I Never Thought the Trolley Problem Would Happen to Me

Ugh, I wish I had binoculars to see if one of them is Hitler!