3/7/2011:
When you think 3.0, a natural association that comes to mind is “street cred.” It almost goes hand in hand
with the names Scott Parker and Shane Matthews.
Recently, “Big Magic” and I used our “juice” on the streets and got some very interesting information.
You see, we got a “guy” who “may or may not know a certain something about a certain wrestling promotion
that, may or may not, be in the process of introducing a certain 'Golden Pants Fastener'.” I know this is
a big inside scoop, so Shane and myself felt the need to share this with the CHIKARA fans. But if anyone asks,
you didn’t hear this from us.
On that note, I’m gonna go ahead and start a campaign. I want everyone to know that I will cast my vote for
someone that you guys probably wouldn’t expect. As of this moment, I nominate...I can’t
believe I’m actually gonna do this...I want to nominate...wait for it...wait for it...Mr. Shane Matthews!
I just got off the phone with my ol’ buddy to inform him of my nomination. Seeing as I record all of our
phone conversations, here’s a written transcript of how this one went.
J: “YEAH Buddy! I just wanted to give you a heads up...”
S:”I’M READY DADDY!!!!!!”
J: “Ummm. Ok? Ready for what, exactly?”
S: “OHHHH YEAAHHHH I AM REEEEADY!!!!!!”
J: “Riiiiiight. Did you just have a Red Bull?”
S: “HOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!! JUST HAD THE BIG CAN OF RED BULL AND LET ME TELL YA, I AM PUMPED UP! YEEEAAH!!” *click*
J: “Hello?”
I know, sometimes, Shane gets really excited and it’s hard to understand exactly what he means.
Especially after he’s gotten a Red Bull in his system. It’s almost like the highly intelligent
Bruce Banner turning into the slightly less eloquent Hulk. But I digress. After nearly 20 years
of friendship I’ve broken down the subtleties of his boisterousness into something most people can
actually understand. So here’s a brief translation of the conversation above.
Shane: “Oh wow. Really? You really voted for me? I can’t believe it. If I were to sum
up my emotions I would have to say that I am both deeply touched by your gesture and
yet mildly thunderstruck. Thank you. I will not let you down. I am both excited and
prepared for this oppertunity. I would also like to return the favor and place a
nomination for you, my dearest friend.”
So there you have to folks! Get out your number 2 pencils. Head on over to the booths and get
your vote on. It may also be a good idea to vote “other” spot and put in one of those fun
little Hollywood couple names like “Sh-agged” or “Par-Thews”. Both of those are terrible
examples but the idea behind it is money. CHIKARMY, let’s get together and do this as one.
Or as 3....Point 0.
Booyah!
S'J'P
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