[rant]
Never in my years working anywhere have I wanted to dragon kick someone in the face as much as I did on Wednesday (this was also 10 minutes before clock out time and normally I don’t mind staying later but c’mon, it’s Turkey Day-eve).
I’ll give you guys the Cliffnotes.
User A calls my desk because her computer randomly shut down on its own. User A had contracted a virus the day previous and I went over to check and see that it wasn’t a relapse coming back to destroy all my hard work. Whilst troubleshooting, User B (B as in total b!@$&) decides that she has the audacity to comment on how I don’t know the solution to the problem right away (like getting a job in IT requires you to have psychic powers or something). User B then goes on to say how our department is useless because we don’t know anything, and “what are you guys getting paid for anyways?”. User B continues to list all of the menial, low-brain function programs that she excels at and could tell me everything about on the drop of a dime. I then figure out the problem and give everyone in attendance my thorough diagnosis and complete solution. User B then tries to save face by saying that I had just given a “vague response”, again trying to hint that I don’t know how to do my job. User A comes to the rescue (after seeing the rage of a thousand burning suns in my eyes), and essentially tells User B to get back to work because I’m the IT specialist here, and User B is not.
I can handle being made fun of. I can handle valid criticism from someone who has the symbolic capital to come at me with constructive commentary. However, to sit there and try to make me look incompetent at my job (not hers), because she had nothing better to do in her sad pathetic life, warrants a goddamn dragon-kicking! Am I right?
[/rant]
deep breath
So how was everyone’s holiday?
21 Spice ups
paul2860
(Paul2860)
2
I would share her comments with everyone else in your department and leave it at that. Whether you believe it or not, Karma can be a bigger B!+CH tha User B and it will all work out… 
T-Day was good but still wondering why I’m here today… gonna try to cut out pretty soon. Got football to watch!
1 Spice up
chris1848
(Chris4161)
3
Holiday was good… but man i don’t think i could have patients like you do. I think i would have been rude, and said something…
2 Spice ups
Paul2860 wrote:
I would share her comments with everyone else in your department and leave it at that. Whether you believe it or not, Karma can be a bigger B!+CH tha User B and it will all work out…
T-Day was good but still wondering why I’m here today… gonna try to cut out pretty soon. Got football to watch!
Hah, maybe next time something goes wrong with User B’s computer, I guess we’ll all just be “too incompetent” to come up with a solution.
I hear ya man. Half the IT staff is out, and my boss is taking off early. No clue why I came in today.
3 Spice ups
Chris4161 wrote:
Holiday was good… but man i don’t think i could have patients like you do. I think i would have been rude, and said something…
I was going to, but then I thought about it and bit my tongue. With the economy being the way it is, really didn’t feel like getting fired.
okay… first … rofl your wording makes me cry… wtf is a dragon kick… teach me please… is it like the Karate Kid crane-type kick? Or something even more devastating?
I have had a similar experience where I wish I knew how to dragon kick someone… after spending two weeks on the phone (an hour here and there) troubleshooting a single terminal server printer issue for a person that is NOT even the client that I run the terminal server for… on the last day when I finaly had the proper solution and got everything working… she commented “Oh wasnt that easy” and I could have killed her. Sure if checking that last box and hitting ok is what you are referring to… but if you are talking about the hours i’ve spent OFF the phone researching YOUR problem… and if it was so easy… why didn’t you do it? Moron … i wanted to smash her…
In your case that just seems outright brutal… and I don’t think I could have handled it as well as you seem to have. I would have been choked and said “well I am going to go enjoy my evening … have fun fixing it, please let me know what you find out.” and left… I hate it when “users” think because we are in IT we have every answer on the tip of our tongue’s … because if you know Word you must know every one of the 11 billion software products on the market, and because you can build and network computers you must know every one of the 42 billion pieces of hardware on the planet and have the maual imprinted on your brain for each… that feeling of “was ESP on my resume” has hit me a few times…
Yes I think she deserved a dragon kick… I think (depending on what that is).
2 Spice ups
bob-13
(Bob_13)
7
Ok… here’s the plan…
When User B (hereafter refered to as LUser) Leave her computer, unlocked of course because “Duh, I’ll be right back… in 20 min or so, what could happen”
You create a scheduled task to run “When logged in” so it only works for LUser.
This task runs every 30 min, and causes a system shutdown (Shutdown -s -f -t 3 -c “Keyboard to chair interface issue. Shutdown required”).
When LUser calls for help say “I can’t think of any computer hardware issue that would cause that… what did you do?”
Keep this up as long as it is still amusing (heck log yourself in to the system for hours on end with no issue) then point out the LUser created a scheduled task to cause the issue, after all it’s her account that it works under, and was created by. Blame the user for making work for you and trying to get out of doing her own job…
Ok… I wouldn’t really but day dreams are fun…
3 Spice ups
Kelly Armitage wrote:
okay… first … rofl your wording makes me cry… wtf is a dragon kick… teach me please… is it like the Karate Kid crane-type kick? Or something even more devastating?
I have had a similar experience where I wish I knew how to dragon kick someone… after spending two weeks on the phone (an hour here and there) troubleshooting a single terminal server printer issue for a person that is NOT even the client that I run the terminal server for… on the last day when I finaly had the proper solution and got everything working… she commented “Oh wasnt that easy” and I could have killed her. Sure if checking that last box and hitting ok is what you are referring to… but if you are talking about the hours i’ve spent OFF the phone researching YOUR problem… and if it was so easy… why didn’t you do it? Moron … i wanted to smash her…
In your case that just seems outright brutal… and I don’t think I could have handled it as well as you seem to have. I would have been choked and said “well I am going to go enjoy my evening … have fun fixing it, please let me know what you find out.” and left… I hate it when “users” think because we are in IT we have every answer on the tip of our tongue’s … because if you know Word you must know every one of the 11 billion software products on the market, and because you can build and network computers you must know every one of the 42 billion pieces of hardware on the planet and have the maual imprinted on your brain for each… that feeling of “was ESP on my resume” has hit me a few times…
Yes I think she deserved a dragon kick… I think (depending on what that is).
Exactly as it’s done here.
1 Spice up
Personally (and this is just me), I did not get into IT to prove anything to anyone. Heck, getting into IT was an accident itself! I usually probe new coworkers as soon as they arrive to see if they are curious in any way as to how I do my job. I explain things when people ask, but otherwise I keep it to myself. Anyone who wants to snipe me with comments in the background gets ignored.
Now I am certainly not saying that I am a saint with limitless patience, but I do have enough such encounters under my belt (and not only from IT) to know that responding or reacting to negativity with more negativity is never productive. I have learned that it may be difficult in the moment to let it slide off your shoulder, but it is the best solution long-term.
Getting to that point of letting it slide off your shoulder 99% of the time is a tough journey, though! I think if I had known how to perform a dragon kick 10 years ago, I would be typing this from a jail cell today. 
1 Spice up
otl
(OTL)
10
That would really GRIND MY GEARS
1 Spice up
tommy492 wrote:
Personally (and this is just me), I did not get into IT to prove anything to anyone. Heck, getting into IT was an accident itself! I usually probe new coworkers as soon as they arrive to see if they are curious in any way as to how I do my job. I explain things when people ask, but otherwise I keep it to myself. Anyone who wants to snipe me with comments in the background gets ignored.
Now I am certainly not saying that I am a saint with limitless patience, but I do have enough such encounters under my belt (and not only from IT) to know that responding or reacting to negativity with more negativity is never productive. I have learned that it may be difficult in the moment to let it slide off your shoulder, but it is the best solution long-term.
Getting to that point of letting it slide off your shoulder 99% of the time is a tough journey, though! I think if I had known how to perform a dragon kick 10 years ago, I would be typing this from a jail cell today.
I know, and I’m not looking for the medal of honor or a ticker-tape parade, but a little gratitude would be nice. Especially since all we’re doing 90% of the time is slaving over problems users make in the first place.
Also, there’s a difference between comments sniped in the background and comments shotgunned at point blank range. 
Bob169 wrote:
Ok… here’s the plan…
When User B (hereafter refered to as LUser) Leave her computer, unlocked of course because “Duh, I’ll be right back… in 20 min or so, what could happen”
You create a scheduled task to run “When logged in” so it only works for LUser.
This task runs every 30 min, and causes a system shutdown (Shutdown -s -f -t 3 -c “Keyboard to chair interface issue. Shutdown required”).
When LUser calls for help say “I can’t think of any computer hardware issue that would cause that… what did you do?”
Keep this up as long as it is still amusing (heck log yourself in to the system for hours on end with no issue) then point out the LUser created a scheduled task to cause the issue, after all it’s her account that it works under, and was created by. Blame the user for making work for you and trying to get out of doing her own job…
Ok… I wouldn’t really but day dreams are fun…
I spoke with the other IT guys that are here today. We’re cooking up something pretty brutal in retaliation. >:)
1 Spice up
dean
(Dean (AKA - The Awkward Gamer))
13
I think there are a lot of things you can do a computer that would be fun to try on user B’s pc. Change the mapping of the letters on her keyboard, Lower the sensitivity of her mouse to the lowest level, turn the brightness and contrast settings to 0 on her monitor so that even while on they appear black, put a bios password on her machine so that she can’t even boot the OS and remove the hydrolic lever from her chair after dropping it to it’s lowest height so she is sitting basically on the floor while at her desk.
Passive aggressive revenge is usually way more fun and much less likely to get you caught. 
tonyogren
(Tony-600r)
14
Kelly Armitage wrote:
okay… first … rofl your wording makes me cry… wtf is a dragon kick… teach me please… is it like the Karate Kid crane-type kick? Or something even more devastating?
Exact same thought I had. I was so intrigued by the “Dragon Kick” that I had to look it up. This is what google showed me…
EDIT: HA! Just saw the other post with this same picture… Glad I was right at least… lol
drx8163
(Dr X)
15
What would your boss, her boss and HR say about it?
Set user B’s network port to 10mb 1/2 duplex and when they complain about slow internet set it back, go over to thier computer ans show them nothing is wrong…then set it back to 10 1/2 duplex again
or fill thier hrd drive full of porn and turn them in to HR.
2 Spice ups
bob-13
(Bob_13)
16
N3WJL wrote:
What would your boss, her boss and HR say about it?
Set user B’s network port to 10mb 1/2 duplex and when they complain about slow internet set it back, go over to thier computer ans show them nothing is wrong…then set it back to 10 1/2 duplex again
or fill thier hrd drive full of porn and turn them in to HR.
Create a shutdown script, put it in HER startup items…
“Yes User B I logged in just fine… What everytime you log in it shuts down… must be something your doing… have a coworker try logging in on your computer…”
Let me guess, she’s late 40’s to mid 50’s.
She probably tried to fix it herself and made it worse and now totally frustrated because she wants to leave too, vents on you.
KUDOS, I would have went nuts and have before, I can’t tolerate that crap from anyone.
SHUT UP, GET THE F* OUT O F THE WAY AND LET ME DO MY JOB
And CORRECT, WE ARE NOT PSYCHIC nor MAGICIANS
2 Spice ups
Curtis3363 wrote:
Let me guess, she’s late 40’s to mid 50’s.
She probably tried to fix it herself and made it worse and now totally frustrated because she wants to leave too, vents on you.
KUDOS, I would have went nuts and have before, I can’t tolerate that crap from anyone.
SHUT UP, GET THE F* OUT O F THE WAY AND LET ME DO MY JOB
And CORRECT, WE ARE NOT PSYCHIC nor MAGICIANS
I’m guessing mid to late 30s. But the messed up part is it wasn’t even her problem. I was dealing with User A’s computer, User B-itch just decided that she needed to throw in her own input for no goddamn reason other than to be an instigator.
AzraelXIII wrote:
Ah a Nosie Parker, in every one elses business but her own.
petesmith2
(PeteSmith)
20
I have one of those users at my Org but sadly she has the title Department Manager, thankfully I don’t report to her but she makes my life living hell almost daily
