tom2338
(Tom2338)
1
Beware if you ever get any unsolicited phone calls for technical support.
Just got a phone call from “John” (with a heavy Indian accent) at Microsoft Technical Support. He told me that my Windows computer was currently being broken into by a hacker. He said that he needed to remotely access my computer to fix the security problem.
So, we have a couple of issues so far. 1: My laptop in in a drawer not even turned on. 2: Microsoft will NEVER call a home out of the blue. 3: I have been involved with repairing, using and building computers and computer networks since around 1985. 4: I can be a terrible wise ass. So, back to the story.
Once “John” told me this information, of course my response was “Really? What should I do?”. He told me that I woudl need to allow him access to my computer and asked if I was in front of it. I told him No. After a few more lines from his script, I told him “You are lying and I am not giving you any of my credit card information”. Hmmm… So maybe this was for real. Riiiiiiiiiight! So I told him “I don’t think so”. His response was to kick his script into high gear and start with threats. He told me that if I did not cooperate that he would be forced to shut off my computer and access to the internet. Oh no! What should I do!?! I know! I told him… “Go ahead, do it, do it right now”. He repeated that he would be forced to shut down my computer and internet. I repeated “Go ahead, do it, I dare you”. After four or five go rounds of this, he finally hung up.
HA HA HA!!! Last time I got a call like this, I had more time and told them I was in front of my computer but unsure what to do. I was told what to type in but I asked if that would work in a BASH shell. They missed that reference…
76 Spice ups
bob-13
(Bob_13)
2

(My desire when they call)
51 Spice ups
Well I know what I’m asking Santa for this year!
6 Spice ups
This woman is the Queen of smartasses. She says, “Job well done.”
4 Spice ups
I love it when we get these calls. My Team has had 3-4 over the past few years. We try to keep them on the phone as long as we can. Our record is 35 minutes. We figure the longer we can keep them on the phone it’s one less person they can call.
I love watching YouTube videos of people messing with this scum.
13 Spice ups
Mike400
(Mike400)
6
These jerks are so keyed into their scripts that they can’t handle someone who takes them off-script.
3 Spice ups
I thought about setting up a sandbox for one of these scammers to troll them. Just doesn’t seem worth it. They seem only call me at home when we either have a power outage or the ISP is down. Or if my wife answers she just hangs up on them.
3 Spice ups
I also am of the thought the longer they are trolled the less time they have to bugger someone who doesn’t know better.
Always fun to string them a long and drop tiny cookie crumbs that you’re “running” Mac OS and not windows. It’s fun to alternate between wait why in the world is Microsoft calling about a Mac, or But I was promised Mac’s don’t get viruses! Depending on just how frustrated the person on the other end of the line is getting.
3 Spice ups
dataless
(Dataless)
10
Last one I got went through his first part. I then told him I’d been doing this since the 80’s and that I gave up on Windows long ago and didn’t have a Windows computer, he started swearing at me. Maybe I’m “racist” but hearing what sounded like a 50+ year old guy with an Indian accent scream “fck you buddy" just made me laugh. (I’m sure if I said the same with a heavy Texas accent he’d be laughing as well. "fck ya’ll, you ain’t touching my computer!”)
12 Spice ups
pgauldy
(pgauldy)
11
I love getting these calls depending on my mood. Depending on the wind I can be one of the following:
- Go away stop bothering me
- OK I’ll listen. Sorry can i just interupt, there’s someone at my door. I’ll be back in a minute put phone down and go back to what I was doing. Sometimes they’ve held on for 10+ minutes waiting for me
- I’ll let my son talk to them (under supervision of course)
- Play the game as a dumb user
- Play the game as an expert and try to change the conversation to my control
- Try to engage on a personal level with ‘John’ or ‘Dave’ or whoever they are
Normally if they threat it’s good to come back with…
8 Spice ups
Last time I got one of these at home, they gave up quickly as they said a problem with my Windows machine, but I have an old XP laptop, a windows 7 desktop and laptops with Windows 8.1 and 10 on. They don’t like multiple choice it turns out.
Heard a story a while back how one of those scammers called a guy in Microsofts anti virus department, which turned silly as the scammer didn’t twig that he was calling Microsoft, while claiming to be calling from Microsoft…
2 Spice ups
rhiaknowles
(Rhia_knowles_MFS)
13
A blind friend of mine uses his text to speech engine to swear at them in a voice not unlike Stephen Hawking’s whilst playing along.
3 Spice ups
Everyone needs to “Mabe” the scammers - at least once… I do it regularly
2 Spice ups
Also, we used to have a wonderful radio DJ here in Memphis named John “bad Dog” Mccormack – John died of Lukemia a fews years back – hee was adept at prank calls and quick wit…
John was a good man and raised millions for the Ronald McDonald house throughout his career as a local radio dj – one of the nicest and fumiest guys I’ve ever met
2 Spice ups
Last time it happened to me I was actually standing in a FBI headquarters building when they called. I laughed and told them exactly that. She responded with “F**K TO YOU!!!” and hung up. What does that even mean?
3 Spice ups
It means you need to do the needful. Given the context, I’m guessing you were supposed to do the needful to “the mother of f***”.
I wish I could get these kind of calls when I’m near a machine. Spinning up a VM of some random linux distro that’s trying to be a windows replacement would be high quality entertainment.
2 Spice ups
tonyjarosz
(OolonColuphid)
18
I have a friend who likes to play dumb with them, and I mean really dumb as in “Close the window? I don’t have any windows open; it’s cold outside!”
It’s surprising how long they’ll actually stay on the line before giving up.
4 Spice ups
The last time I got called like this I was using my Linux laptop at the time, so he was giving me instructions and I was following them, pretending to go along, and when it came time to download the .exe I told him it wouldn’t run, it wasn’t a recognized format, he spent a good half hour trying to figure out why it wouldn’t run, then when he finally came to the conclusion that I was wasting his time he got very angry, cursed at me then hung up. It’s so funny how mad they get, it’s like you’re the one trying to scam me, don’t get upset when I screw with you instead, jerk.
5 Spice ups
troberts2
(troberts2)
20
Next time you can tell them you are zoning in on them with your MSN Missile Launcher … if they do not cease and desist you will be forced to go War Games on them …
http://www.innovatoys.com/usb-msn-missile-launcher MSN Launcher