Today's greatest ticket

shonolson · 2017-05-11T13:59:42.000Z

Hi Shon;

 

Can you reach out to xxxxx, her computer did an update and reboot yesterday and now it is so slow, even the clock is running slow.

 

Thanks,

xxxxx

Somedays I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry…

big-green-man · 2017-05-11T14:02:33.000Z

Clearly you had to slow down the computer and time to put it on pace with your userbase.

jmoberly · 2017-05-11T14:07:40.000Z

Did you explain to her that they may have merely entered a crack in the space-time continuum? Once they’ve hit an hour of work at that “slow” clock speed, they’ll have accomplished twice as much as anyone else. To an onlooker does it appear that they’re moving in fast-forward?

zuphzuph · 2017-05-11T14:08:27.000Z

7619a9b1100397b488ebfe6f5c7757d7_-of-the-geeksquad-gus-meme-meme-users_540-362.jpeg

Mike400 · 2017-05-11T14:10:29.000Z

I’d check the CMOS battery.

taylorlemay3 · 2017-05-11T14:11:15.000Z

Maybe it’s because it’s so close to Friday?

rename · 2017-05-11T14:15:56.000Z

When I get the “My machine is slow” complaint, I usually tell them that it is because of the giant baby/dog/kitten/gf/bf/bing picture that is loading as a desktop background. Half of the time they will take it off.

Its the small pleasures in life that keep me going.

(ANNNNDDD, you don’t know how to get to the interwebz if the big E isn’t on your desktop but you sure as shiiii figured out how to get that background on there.)

Mike400 · 2017-05-11T14:19:25.000Z

Orvis3094:

When I get the “My machine is slow” complaint, I usually tell them that it is because of the giant baby/dog/kitten/gf/bf/bing picture that is loading as a desktop background. Half of the time they will take it off.

Its the small pleasures in life that keep me going.

(ANNNNDDD, you don’t know how to get to the interwebz if the big E isn’t on your desktop but you sure as shiiii figured out how to get that background on there.)

I once had a user put an animated gif up as their background and select “tile”. Needless to say their computer ran like molasses.

joelf · 2017-05-11T14:19:38.000Z

I would post my response on this but someone got offended by it and I got a swat on the nose by a Moderator.

aceofspades · 2017-05-11T14:21:59.000Z

Make sure nobody spilled honey on the keyboard, you know, sticky and all seems to slow things down!

brittany-for-lenovo · 2017-05-11T14:27:14.000Z

“Did a reboot” just reminds me of these memes:

omgosh-who-you-i-forest-doggo-i-do-boop-boop-6576158.png500×566 171 KB

alanmcknight9387 · 2017-05-11T14:34:18.000Z

We set the speed of the machine to match the speed of the user…

laura-l-sw · 2017-05-11T14:39:06.000Z

(literal speechlessness)

james590 · 2017-05-11T14:46:47.000Z

this is the prequel to “i need a new computer”

james485 · 2017-05-11T14:48:59.000Z

Sounds facepalm worthy

Eric1929 · 2017-05-11T15:15:15.000Z

Stupid_cat_3.jpeg508×534 54.5 KB

biscuitking · 2017-05-11T16:06:50.000Z

Eric1929 · 2017-05-11T16:16:45.000Z

georgemcfarlin · 2017-05-11T17:11:31.000Z

joelgarry · 2017-05-11T22:09:05.000Z

Mike400:

Orvis3094:

When I get the “My machine is slow” complaint, I usually tell them that it is because of the giant baby/dog/kitten/gf/bf/bing picture that is loading as a desktop background. Half of the time they will take it off.

Its the small pleasures in life that keep me going.

(ANNNNDDD, you don’t know how to get to the interwebz if the big E isn’t on your desktop but you sure as shiiii figured out how to get that background on there.)

I once had a user put an animated gif up as their background and select “tile”. Needless to say their computer ran like molasses.

lol I did try that at home once, last century 33MHz machine IIRC.